Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Randomize
