Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
