her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
