brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
he shaved USA in his pubs
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
