She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
