i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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