Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Randomize
