i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
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