Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Everclear isn't food dammit
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
