So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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