I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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