My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
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