Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
