i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
