I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I'm at about main and main street
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
