office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
