First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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