we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
