Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
