that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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