She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Duck Duck Cougar?
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
