Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
