just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
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