jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
