You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
