It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
