If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
