HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
