I'm sorry my penis didn't work
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
and she was petting her beer can
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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