grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Randomize
