I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I want to be your penis for a week.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Randomize
