i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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