Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
