I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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