Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
