you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
