Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
