Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
