NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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