Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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