Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize
