I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
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