just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
After tacos, we're chasing women.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
