And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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