Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Randomize
