i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
