I must be too annoying 4 u.
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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