Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
