yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
