guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I know her cup size but not her name....
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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