i don't plan on having that self control this summer
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
