I wish I could punch you in the face.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
