Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
